when the mirror speaks, the reflection lies
still trying to figure out who i am

yesterday, while i was on the way to a meeting, my accounting big boss stopped me in the middle of my track and said, “hey i just wanted to tell you, you did a great job during the presentation the other day! yeah you did great!”

i was kinda surprised because the presentation she referred to was the one during the teambuilding event back on dec 19th. i jokingly told her that it was already belated but she did reminded me that she was away for two weeks immediately after that event.

during one of the teambuilding activities, each group had to present a topic and i was picked as the ‘rallying point’ of my group. needless to say, i thought i did a really really bad job presenting our ideas. i spent the few days after that feeling kinda embarrassed facing my teammates because i thought ive let them down. worst, one of my teammates was EO, our finance manager.

although surprisingly, EO said i did a great job presenting and she recalled how her very first time presenting made her pee in her pants. i really dont believe her because i know she’s just trying to make me feel better. but there were also some other colleagues who came up to me and all of them were like “you were really good!”, “i didnt know you can present so well!” and “good job!!”

i tend to think of the negatives and the worst of everything of me so i find it hard to believe that these people thought i did a great job. maybe it’s no big deal to some because it’s just a presentation. but me and public speaking is a really really bad combo.

ill never forget the nervous breakdown i suffered after finding out i was the one who had to present just a mere hour before the presentation. it was hell, so to speak.

i had one of those mini come-and-go crushes on E again- all because of his response to one of my simple “where were you this morning” question that was accompanied by his famous cheeky smile. my god, im easily swayed.

if this was a school and we were all still students, E will probably be a favourite amongst the girls. he’s ridiculously friendly, funny, sometimes annoying, but still funny- and he sweet talks.. a lot.

girls will love him for sure.

it was our teambuilding event today- the finance team and the IT dept. other than the embarrassing moments that i suffered here and there throughout the day, i have to say a picture with one of the facilitators sure helped to ease some, if not all, the painful memories of embarrassment haha

AY caught my eyes the minute i saw him. he was an attractive guy, what can i say. at least i got a picture for memory sake ;)

20th, 21st i dont know but that’s three people who kept on telling/reminding me of “D-Day”. First was CB, who went on leave for a whole month because of exams and the first thing she did when she came back was to sametime me in CAPS, no less..

CB: 9 MORE DAYS TO 21ST DECEMBER!! *inserts laughing emoticon*

Then on the same day that afternoon, JT sametimed me..

JT: Nia, 21st December next week.. hurry, go find an Ah Beng
JT: Eh sorry *Ah Bang not Ah Beng

I literally burst out laughing in front of my computer when JT said to find an Ah Beng before correcting herself.

And then, just today, while eating at Aunty Pantry..

Aunty C: Eh this Friday you coming to work not?
Me: This Friday? Op course! Why? Got holiday meh?
Aunty C: No lah, world want to end already mah, want to come to work for what?

….hahaha seriously Aunty.

i was eating my lunch at aunty pantry with S and Aunty C yesterday when i grumbled about Siti F coming back from her leave this coming Thursday. i forgot what i said in between but i did ended my sentence with a “im gonna die”.

and right at that moment, the plastic spoon that S was using broke into half. S and Aunty C immediately went “ah see see! not good not good!” and both tried to, well, touch wood, because i mentioned the word “die” and right on cue, the plastic spoon broke.

i dont know what to say really. maybe that’s why my right eye kept twitching too. they say when a woman’s right eye twitches, something bad’s gonna happen. i mean, i dont want to read too much into it, but if i die, then i die. there’s nothing i can do about it. on the brightside, at least it means i dont have to see the faces i dont want to see ever again- including my own.